Jump Off (Show Jumping Dreams ~ Book 22) Read online

  JUMP OFF

  BY

  CLAIRE SVENDSEN

  Copyright © 2015 Claire Svendsen

  All rights reserved

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission of the Author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Your support of author’s rights is appreciated.

  This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, places or events is purely coincidental.

  CHAPTER ONE

  “I have a show to get ready for. I can’t deal with this right now,” I said.

  I’d been happy and excited to go to the last Talent Scout show with no pressure because I couldn’t compete Bluebird in the one class that mattered. Instead I was taking Missy’s speed horse Socks, my green horse Arion and resale project Four, who I was hoping to give to Frankie, the girl who had lost her horse at the vet clinic. The whole day had been planned. It was going to be great and now my father had ruined it because there by his truck stood my mother and my step sister like two orphaned puppies.

  “You have to deal with it,” Dad said. “They are your family too. She is your mother.”

  “I don’t have a mother,” I said, my voice cold.

  I pushed the wheelbarrow past him and into the feed room, loading up more hay.

  “I have to feed the rest of the horses before they kick down their stalls,” I said.

  “Henry can do that. Look, he’s pulling in now,” Dad said. “Please, we need to talk. All of us together.”

  I looked at him and saw something that I hadn’t seen before. He still had feelings for my mother, despite all these years and everything they’d been through. The hatred. The not talking to each other. The way they hurt themselves and me in the process. And now what? Was Missy supposed to welcome my mother and step sister into our already crowded home? Was I? I didn’t think so.

  “You can’t expect me to deal with this on the day of a show,” I said, trying to sound rational and calm when really I just wanted to scream in his face that he was an idiot.

  “You’re right,” Dad said, rubbing the stubble on his face. “I’m sorry. I should have waited.”

  “Yes you should have.”

  “Alright then, we’ll talk about it tonight,” he said.

  “Okay,” I said.

  What I didn’t say was that I was never, ever going to be okay with this. Not in a million years and what did he think? That we were all going to live like one big happy family? A mixed up blended mess like Chantilly and Bandit and the foal. It may have worked for them but it wasn’t going to work for us. Anyone with any sense could see that.

  I waited until my father had gone and then I stood there with my hand on the wall, holding myself up on weak legs while I tried to catch my breath. I’d tried to stay strong in front of him. To not let him see that really I wanted to burst into tears and yell and scream at him and tell him that he was an idiot for even thinking that any of this was going to work but instead I just willed my heart to stop pounding wildly in my chest.

  “You okay?” Henry asked as he came into the feed room.

  “Yes,” I said, standing up straight. “I fed all the horses. Can you hook up the trailer? We have a show to load up for.”

  “Sure,” he said, looking at me kind of funny. “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Perfectly fine, thanks,” I said.

  The first lie of many.

  CHAPTER TWO

  I sat in the truck, picking at some dry skin on my hands. I’d developed callouses from riding every day and working in the barn and my nails were short because I’d been biting them again. I’d never have perfect pink nails like Mickey did but I didn’t care. The things I cared about were loaded up in the back of the trailer, the horses I would ride in today’s show and back in the barn, my beloved pony Bluebird.

  I didn’t need anything else and I certainly didn’t need a mother who had abandoned me suddenly showing up here and thinking that everything could go back to normal when it wouldn’t. There weren’t enough therapists in the world to sort out that mess. Part of me was glad that I had a show to concentrate on so that I could just push Cat and my mother out of my mind and forget what I’d seen but the other part of me wanted to be in our house, listening to the epic fight and ensuing meltdown that was obviously going to take place.

  “I’m driving,” Henry said as he opened the truck door. “Your father said he’ll meet us there.”

  “Or not,” I said.

  “What?” Henry asked, turning the key.

  The big truck rumbled to life, shaking beneath us and belched out a cloud of smoke for good measure. Sometimes it could be temperamental, just like me.

  “Nothing,” I said.

  It didn’t matter. I wasn’t riding in the Talent Scout class and I was more than capable of settling in my own horses, walking my own courses and competing without anyone telling me what to do. In fact I was hoping that my father wouldn’t show up at all. I just didn’t need the hassle or the heart ache. I mean whose side was I supposed to choose? I’d already chosen my father once. If they asked me to choose again of course I’d still pick him. Sure, he’d had his moments and it hadn’t always been clear sailing but he supported my riding. That was all that mattered to me.

  I flipped my phone back and forth in my hands. I wanted to text Mickey and tell her but I couldn’t find the words. My mother is back should have sounded like something great when it wasn’t at all and since I couldn’t even make any sense of it, how was Mickey supposed to? I was pretty sure she couldn’t so I didn’t say anything. Instead I called Frankie.

  “We are on our way to the show,” I said. “You’re still coming, right?”

  “I guess so,” she said.

  “You guess? You either are or you aren’t.”

  My impatient fingers tapped on the side of the door as I waited for her to answer. I was bringing Four to the show for her to ride, paying for a stall and ground fees so that she could ride him. I had a folder with all his paperwork tucked in my bag. If she liked him then I was going to give him to her. I didn’t know why she was making it so hard.

  “Yes,” she said finally. “I’m coming. My mom is going to drop me off.”

  “Great,” I said. “Bring your helmet. I’ll text you when we get there and find out what stalls we’ve been assigned.”

  “Okay,” she said, then clicked off.

  I stared at the phone, wanting to toss it across the truck but instead I took a deep breath, staring out the window at the sunshiny world. Lucky for me Henry wasn’t much of a talker anyway. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. In fact I wasn’t in the mood for any kind of talk at all.

  CHAPTER THREE

  The show grounds were already busy by the time we got there, probably because we were running late and everyone else had been there since the crack of dawn but since we didn’t have any other students showing and their entourages of nervous parents and hangers on, it didn’t matter. I knew how to be quick and efficient and so did Henry.

  “I’ll get you signed in,” he said.

  “Thanks,” I replied.

  I sat in the truck, feeling my horses shift in the trailer behind me. They knew we’d arrived at the show and Four sent out a blasting whinny. Someone answered him from across the show grounds and I felt him kick the side of the trailer. I got out of the truck with a sigh. All I needed was the horse I wasn’t actually showing kicking and injuring one of the horses I was showing.

  “Knock it of
f,” I scolded. “It’s just a show.”

  But Four probably hadn’t ever been to a show before and even if he had it probably hadn’t been one like this where girls were flinging European Warmbloods and various Thoroughbred crosses over fences in the warm up ring like their lives depended on it.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Andy riding his beautiful gray horse Mousse and across the ring there she was, her big bay wrapped up in boots and bandages like just riding him might cause him to be seriously injured, Jess and her new horse Valor. My blood ran cold. I wanted to run over there, yank her off her horse and demand to know if she had poisoned my pony but I couldn’t. I was here alone and even though I wasn’t competing in the Talent Scout class, the judges were here. I couldn’t afford to let them see my wild side, the one that wanted to punch Jess in the face. And I probably wouldn’t have actually punched her anyway, I was far too much of a chicken for that and violence wasn’t really my style. But I would have yelled at her and brought a lot of negative attention on myself and with everything else that was going on I just couldn’t afford to do that. I vowed to lay low, compete in my own classes and mind my own business. At least for this show anyway.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “Stalls, numbers, prize list,” Henry said.

  He handed me papers and my number, thirteen. At this point I wasn’t sure if it was going to be lucky or unlucky.

  “Thanks,” I said. “Let’s get these guys unloaded.”

  By the time my three geldings were settled, the show was well underway. It was the last summer show. They’d be a break for a month and then the winter show circuit would start and so people had come out in droves to compete and celebrate the fact that it was Labor Day weekend and maybe after another few weeks the temperatures might just inch out of the nineties. Not today though. Today the sun was blaring down on us like a heat seeking missile. My shirt was already wet with sweat and Henry had hung extra fans for my boys who were all standing in front of them looking miserable. Everyone except Four who was standing there with his head up like a giraffe and his eyes bugging out of his head. He’d pranced to his stall like a Thoroughbred that had just arrived at the track even though he was supposed to be mostly Quarter horse.

  “You’d better knock it off,” I told him. “Frankie isn’t going to want you if you act all crazy. No one will.”

  But I had to admit that he looked pretty handsome with his nostrils flared and head high. Sort of how you’d expect a green horse to look but the fact that he was full of himself only made me like him more and wish that deep inside him there was more jumping talent than there was. Unfortunately his jumping style was not that of a great jumper or even a mediocre hunter. He was prone to hanging a leg and with his rearing issues, it just wasn’t worth the amount of time and effort I’d have to put into him and besides, he didn’t even really like jumping. He deserved a home where he wouldn’t have to do something he didn’t want to do. I was all about holding on to every horse I had but I wasn’t about to force Four into a life he wanted no part of. Frankie liked trail riding and dabbling in this and that without competing seriously in anything. Four would probably love that. I just hoped that she would love him.

  I was elbow deep in last minute tack cleaning, sitting in front of my stalls in the only shade there was when someone cleared their throat. I looked up to see Andy standing there, his freckles dark brown from all the time he’d spent in the sun.

  “Hello stranger,” he said.

  “Hey,” I replied, glad to finally see a friendly face.

  “I heard about Bluebird, how he had to go to the vet clinic. How is he doing?”

  “Better thanks,” I said. “He couldn’t come to the show though.”

  “No, I’m not surprised. It’s too bad.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I’ve got these three to take care of.”

  Andy looked at Four, who had his nose pressed against the bars and was showing the whites of his eyes.

  “And what class is that crazy monster competing in?” he asked. “Because you are braver than I am if you’re actually riding him.”

  “Four isn’t showing,” I said. “I just brought him for a friend to ride.”

  “Four?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

  “Long story.”

  “I’m sure it is,” he said.

  There was an awkward silence as I scrubbed at a particularly dried up slobber stain on my reins. I liked Andy. He’d always been nice to me but I couldn’t make small talk. It was like my brain had gone into survival mode and the only thing that was in there were my courses and how I was going to ride Arion and Socks to win in both their classes. Thinking of that was the only thing that was stopping me from falling apart and if I could think about riding and nothing else then I’d make it through the day. I just didn’t know how I was going to make it after that but I’d deal with it when the show was over and we got home, or at least got back to whatever was left of my home.

  “Well I’d better get back to Mousse,” Andy said. “He gets nervous if I leave him alone for too long.”

  “Good luck in your class,” I said, not looking up.

  “Will you watch?” he asked.

  “I don’t think so,” I said. “I think my speed class is at the same time.”

  That was a lie. There would be time before my ride to watch the Talent Scout class but I wasn’t interested in watching people ride a course that I couldn’t and win a cup that I had no chance to win. It wasn’t fair but that was life and you had to deal with it and roll with the punches you were dealt. But it still didn’t mean that I had to be happy about it.

  “Well, see you around,” Andy said.

  “See you.”

  I watched him walk away, feeling bad. Andy had always been nice to me. It wasn’t his fault that my pony got sick or that my family was getting all messed up. And I hoped that he’d win the Talent Scout class. He deserved it. He was a good rider and his horse was talented. They were a winning combination and if they beat Jess and her horse Valor then I’d be happy. But I would have been happier if I’d been allowed to beat them myself.

  I checked my phone. It was after ten and there was still no sign of Frankie. If she didn’t show up soon I was going to have to saddle Four and take him out myself because otherwise I would have brought him for nothing. And maybe while he was prancing his way around the grounds someone else might show some interest in buying him. Of course I’d have had a better chance of enticing people to buy him if he was actually competing. Maybe I should just try and squeeze him into one of the baby classes. I looked at my watch. There was still time and I needed something to take my mind off Andy and Jess and the cup that should have been mine.

  “Henry,” I called out. “Can you run to the steward’s office for me?”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Sitting on Four was like sitting on top of a firework that someone had lit the fuse of, only it hadn’t gone off yet. He was a quivering bundle of excitement and nerves and he didn’t seem to know which way or direction to go. He’d tipped up on his hind feet when Henry gave me a leg up and our head groom had looked disapprovingly and growled at my horse but Henry was used to fresh young Thoroughbreds from his track days so he didn’t bat an eyelid when Four took off with me towards the warm up ring.

  “Steady boy,” I said, patting his neck and trying to get him to calm down.

  I knew it was dumb. Probably one of the dumbest things I’d done in a while and that was saying something. It was Four’s first show. I should have walked him around and shown him everything first from the ground. Clipped the lunge line on and found a quiet corner to lunge him for a while but no, not me. In my numb and dumb state I’d tacked him up and got right to work. And I guess in a way it was working. I mean while I was scattering horses and people left and right and trying to stop my horse from simultaneously rearing and bolting, I wasn’t thinking about the Talent Scout class or my mother.

  Henry had entered us in the optimal time class. The jump
s were lower than the class that Arion was entered in and it had the added bonus of us not having to go super-fast. All we had to do was go around hopefully in the same exact time that the course designer had decided we should. I figured that it didn’t really matter what we did. That at least it would give Four and me something to do. But right now I was more concerned with getting him to walk. He seemed to think that trot was the slowest he could go and when we almost took out a hot dog stand, I thought I was in for it.

  “Need a friend?”

  It was Andy on Mousse, reaching out to grab my horse’s reins before he reared up and flipped over on me.

  “Thanks,” I said as he led us away from all the people who were glaring at us like we were a bulldozer on four legs. So much for not drawing attention to ourselves.

  “I thought you weren’t showing him,” Andy said, letting go of the reins and pointing to my show coat.

  “Changed my mind,” I said.

  “You mean lost your mind?” Andy replied.

  “Maybe,” I said.

  Four seemed to settle with Mousse by his side. We walked away from the crowds and found a quiet spot by the trailers. Four stood there shaking beneath me. I had to admit that I was shaking too and we hadn’t even gone in the ring yet. Maybe Andy was right. Maybe I had lost it. Had I cracked and gone crazy after all?

  “Look, I don’t want to tell you what to do,” Andy said. “But riding dangerous horses isn’t going to do you any favors. Bluebird will be better soon and you’ll have your old partner back again. You don’t have to do this.”

  Andy genuinely looked concerned. It was nice to think that he thought enough of me to care but he didn’t know what I was going through. No one did.

  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” I said.

  “I think you do,” he replied.